Quite recently I was chatting with a natural-haired friend of mine about hair products, salons and such. It was not long into the conversation when we both shared about products we used when were younger that we no longer use because of our partners. You see, we are both in mixed race relationships. Our chat made me wonder how much of our beauty and skin care regime do those of us who are in mixed race relations change because of our partners? Here’s my story…


Palmer's cocoa butter skincare
Image from Pinterest via Jenny Baines


My Skincare Regime


in my 20’s Palmer’s Coco Butter was a staple in mu skin care. I still had a few nicks and scratches from childhood that I’d hoped the coco butter would magic away. At one point, I was dating a non-black guy who commented on my smell of coco.  I explained that some black women use coco butter on their skins because its great, and that I’ve been using it since childhood.

Although, he never said he didn’t like the smell. It was a passing comment. Still, I opted to change to unscented coco butter. I guess its the sort of thing you might do in the first flush of a relationship trying to be ‘acceptable’. I never thought deeply about it.

After a while, I discovered Palmer’s Shea Butter! I loved the fragrance, it worked to well but I didn’t like the texture. Over the years I’ve switched to various creams and butters.


Image from Pinterest via Crystal Afro


Black Hair Care


Well, I married the guy. He’s now my hubby. Over the years I’ve ‘demystified’ a few things about beauty and skin care for women of colour for him. After we got married, he used to tease about my hair wrapping at night. He used to say he could tell my mood if I came to bed with or without the head wrap. The truth is keeping my hair safe and moisturized at night were just two benefits to my hair wrapping. The other reason I cover my hair at night is that it makes me feel safe. I don’t why it just does and its practice I carried on long after my mother stopped combing my hair.


Natural Hair and Motherhood

These days it’s my son that gives me grief about my head wrapping. As soon as, I wake up in the morning and he sees me, “my mummy take of your hat!” (His dad used to call it a swimming cap.) I have no intention of discontinuing my hair wrapping, though. Hubby and Angelo are always giving me weird looks especially on ‘wash day’ (when I was my hair) like when I’m  deep conditioning my hair using cling film to create the necessary heat or some such activity. I’m the butt of their jokes at times but I do get my own back from time to time.

Have you ever changed your beauty and/or skin regime because of your relationship? I’d love to hear from you.


(updated 11th May 2020)




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