So here’s the situation, motherhood has thought why me sleep deprivation is used as a means of torture. My days, nights, sleeping and waking all my times seem to merge into one. When my toddler, Angelo, was a little younger, I used to dream in what I call ‘real time’. There were occasions when I thought I was awake but I was actually sleeping. While pregnant with him I maintained my routine of day-time naps, when I was at home. I’m not sure why, but I thought the baby (Angelo) would learn my pattern a follow it once he was born. I couldn’t understand why some mothers complained about lack of sleep. Sleep when the baby sleeps they say. HA HA HA, the joke was on me! Sometimes I’d hear buzzing in my ears, like white noise. I also used to see flashing lights in my periphery vision. I was so scared I had TWO eyes test! Nothing was wrong with my eyes. I realize now it was lack of sleep and perhaps stress. Angelo used to wake every two – three hours and he wasn’t even breastfeed at night. He had formula. I was SHATTERED. Then Valentina was born. She seemed like angel sent by God. I’d put her in her cot switch on her mobile and she’d coo then slowly drift off to sleep. She’d only wake a couple times at night. Not anymore. It’s now been three years since I’ve had a full night’s sleep. After dark it’s party time at my house.
|Busted! Day-time co-sleep & Val is awake. Yellow head is me
Finally, at the age of 2 years 10 months Angelo has begun to sleep through the night, most nights. However, Valentina has taken up where he’s left off. Somewhere around six months she must have that ‘enough of that!” and started waking regularly. At that time Angelo was still waking as well. Sometimes I’d be up as much as 6 times between midnight (when I went to bed) and 7:30 am. I’d move from my bed to Angelo’s bed to the sofa and back again depending on which child I had! Some nights I’m sure I ran on auto pilot. I’d wake next morning thinking who did that? Was it me or hubby? Usually it was a case of who brought which child into our bed. Now that Angelo does sleep through the night, Hubby and I co-sleep with Valentina from around 2 am untill she wakes for the day. However, it’s not smooth sailing.
Valentina still wakes even will in bed with us. She hates covered with the duvet and she hates rolling and bumping into one of us. You’d think that would make her WANT to stay in her cot but no. If her crying wakes Angelo, then it’s back to their room to stay with him until he falls asleep. I sometimes feel like a deranged ghost haunting the flat we live in, wandering from room to room. All I need is a chain to clank. Forget musical chairs… I play musical beds after dark…
… without the music OR the fun!