Purchasing I Am Not Your Baby Mother was the best £15 I spent in a long time. I’ve been following the author Candice Brathwaite for at least 5 years on Insta. I can’t remember how I stumbled upon her page but she was vocal at things I didn’t have the confidence to talk about on social media.When news came that she was penning a book about her life, like many others  I was thrilled for her. However, when it came out I wasn’t sure if I would read it. I was concerned that reading it would send me back to my dark days of depression. Then one day  Candice shared a video testimonial from a reader (Rose. D. Annor, founder of BOWË Skincare) and I knew I Am Not Your Baby Mother WAS the book for me!


About I Am Not Your Baby Mother


I Am Not Your Baby Mother (IANYBM) is not an autobiography. It is somewhere in between. It’s part bio part social commentary with some stats to drive home the message. I was grateful that Candice included statistical evidence. In the black community, we are used to people question our comments and asking for evidence.

IANYBM is a thought-provoking, urgent and inspirational guide to life as a black mother. It explores the various stages in between pregnancy and waving your child off at the gates of primary school, while facing hurdles such as white privilege, racial micro-aggression and unconscious bias at every point. Candice does so with her trademark sense of humour and refreshing straight-talking, and the result is a call-to-arms that will allow mums like her to take control, scrapping the parenting rulebook to mother their own way.


View this post on Instagram


Waiting for my computer to update, I thought I would kill some time by reading the opening of chapter 7, Young, Gifted and Stabbed

A post shared by Candice Brathwaite (@candicebrathwaite) on

My Thoughts about IANYBM


IANYBM is for anyone who wants to understand the lived experience of black mothers in the UK. From the first page I was hooked. I read it in a few days and that’s a record for me. Far from making me feel depressed, I felt liberated, understood and loved. As the words poured of the page it was like having a conversation with a good friend, her struggle was mine. As Arabella (played by Michaela Cole) says to her bestie Terry (played by Weruche Opia) in the BBC drama I May Destroy You:

Your birth is my birth; your death is my death’

Candice knows the struggles of black mothers in Britain. She’s made experience poetic; her tone and descriptions are melodic.


Why you should read IANYBM


5 reasons to read, I Am Not Your Baby Mother :

  1. You will feel understood
  2. You will feel liberated
  3. You will get to know your sisters in the human race better
  4. It’s like a beginner’s guide to black mum life in Britain because it covers the concerns of black mothers from conception to the school gate (culture, finances, health, knife crime, school, sex and more)
  5. It clearly demonstrates why Black Lives Matter is not a moment


Book Details

Hardcover: 240 pages

Publisher: Quercus (28 May 2020)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1529406277

ISBN-13: 978-1529406276

The hardcover is available on Amazon RRP £13.49  You can find Candice on her Instagram account , she also curates the account Make Motherhood Diverse.

You need this book in your life, trust me, buy it for yourself or give it to friend.  Have read it already? What are your thoughts?

Please comment below.





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